


Manger des Cochonneries

by AlyaBug (MorphologicalMayhem)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Junk Food - Freeform, Male-Female Friendship, Nutella, minimal romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8832130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorphologicalMayhem/pseuds/AlyaBug
Summary: Ladybug discovers that Chat Noir has never eaten junk food before. She decides to fix that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a cute idea I had. I tried to make the snacks be more European than American but I am not super familiar with that many brands of French junk food. And the kind of corner store describes probably exists in some form in France, even if it is set up different. Whatever, it is fanfic. It doesn't need to be terribly accurate.

Chat Noir was clearly in a bad mood. He had barely made a single joke since they started patrol and he had a frown in place of his normal smirk. Ladybug had had enough. 

“Chat, can we stop for a minute?” She swung onto a flat roof and gestured for him to join her. 

“What is it?” He snapped. 

“Chat.” She sat down cross legged and looked at him. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

He looked like he was about to say something but instead just sighed. He plopped down next to her. “It’s my father.” His frown deepened. “I know you don't want to hear more, because it’s normal life stuff.”

“Hey.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, comfortingly. “You’re not the only teen boy in Paris to have issues with his father. I am sure a little venting won’t give you away.” 

He laughed. “That is true.” He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “He is just really controlling. He won’t let me do anything because it will reflect badly on his ‘image’.” He rolled his eyes. “Basically the only time I see him is when he wants to tell me I am doing something wrong. He wants me to be this perfect emotionless robot son. He wants me to apologize for having basic human emotions. I am already so repressed that I am exhausted from acting all the time. Polite and vacant smiles, all day, everyday.” Chat smiled in a way that was very unlike him. It was polite, mild and didn't reach his eyes. It almost reminded her of someone, but she couldn't put her finger on who. He dropped the fake smile and scowled. 

Ladybug was surprised. Chat never talked much about his homelife but she had guessed that it wasn’t as idyllic as her own. As he described it, suddenly his over-the-top behavior made sense. He was acting in a way that he couldn’t in his regular life.

“What about your mom?” She asked, hoping that they at least had a good relationship.

Bad move, judging by the sadness in his eyes. “She. . . went missing about a year and a half ago.”

“I am so sorry.” Ladybug touched his face in sympathy. 

“It’s okay. You didn’t know.” He smiled at her, sadly. “We don’t really know what happened to her so she might come home someday. At least I have the memory of a good parent.”

“What’s your dad’s problem, anyway?” She felt bad bring up his dead mother and felt angry at his dick of a father. 

Chat sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, we’re, like, really rich.” He blushed. “Like, really rich. ‘Stupid rich’, as my friend says. He wants me to represent the family and make us seem dignified at all times, as to not embarrass him in front of all his rich friends. Which is why I was barely allowed to have friends until recently. He didn’t want them to be a bad influence on me.”

“I didn’t expect your secret identity to be a ‘lonely rich boy’.” She laughed, but then felt bad. As a daughter of middle class small business owners and classmate of Chloe Bourgeois, she was not used to thinking of rich people as having real problems, but Chat’s dad sounded awful.

Chat chuckled. “Frankly, that you didn’t expect it is a good thing. I try not to act like, well, Chloe Bourgeois.”

She laughed. “You know her? She’s the worst.”

“Our families run in the same circles.” He laughed.

Ladybug paused. That meant he might know Adrien. Should she ask? No, that would be weird. Instead she just laughed. “You should rebel.” She suggested, jokingly. 

He raised an eyebrow. “How? I don’t really want to get addicted to drugs and have a lot of anonymous sex, like most rebellious rich idiots.”

She laughed. “No, you fight super villains instead. But I think you need some extra rebellion. What’s something fun that you know he would just hate the idea of?”

Chat looked thoughtful. “He never lets me eat junk food.”

“Perfect.” She stood up and held out her hand. “Will you eat junk food with me, mon petit chaton?”

He took it, laughing, and stood up with her. “Really? Like, now? That sounds . . . fun, actually.”

Ladybug shrugged. “Why not? We can keep our eye open for criminals and akumas. I think you need this.”

He gave her a quick hug before pulling away, a silly grin on his face. 

She smiled, surprised by how excited he seemed, before a thought occurred to her. “One problem. We don’t have our wallets in our suits.”

Chat Noir frowned. “I can just de-transform, toss you my wallet and then transform again.” 

“Sounds good.” 

“Okay, turn around and we can do this.” Chat Noir said eagerly. 

Ladybug did as he said and heard the crackle of magic detransform her partner. It was weird, knowing that if she just turned around, she would know what he looked like under the mask. 

“Here it is.” She felt something nudge her hand behind her back. She grabbed on to it and was surprised when her gloved hand made contact with his gloveless fingers. She brought the wallet around in front of her and looked at it. It was black leather, slim, and clearly designer. He wasn’t lying about being rich, apparently. She almost flipped it open before stopping herself. His ID was probably in there. She fought down her curiosity and reminded herself that she didn’t actually want to know his identity. 

“Okay, Plagg. Transform me.” The magic transformed him again and she turned around to face her partner, who was grinning like an idiot. 

“Let’s do this. Let’s eat some junk.” 

 

Swooping down to street level, they walked for a block before Ladybug spotted what she was looking for. They stood, giggling outside a late night corner store, hesitating at the door.

“So, we are actually just going to go in there, in our uniforms, and buy a bunch of junk food?” Chat asked, smiling stupidly. 

“We’re going to buy a _mountain_ of junk food.” Ladybug said, confidently. 

“I’ve never been to a place like this,” he said, nervously eyeing the advertisements for cigarettes and lottery tickets. 

She rolled her eyes. “Come on, rich boy.” She pushed open the door. The only other person in the store was the cashier, a middle aged Arabic man who stared at them with a confused look on his face. Having two superheros come into your small store probably was a bit of a shock. 

She turned her attention to Chat Noir. His eyes were wide as he looked around the small store. The brightly colored, precariously stacked packages seemed to overwhelm him. Ladybug laughed as he ran over to the cold drinks fridge and peered excitedly at all the sodas. 

“Ladybug! They have Coke! I have always wanted to try Coke!” He exclaimed pulling out a bottle from the fridge. 

“You have seriously never had a Coke before?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Grab me a Fanta.” 

“Some of these flavors . . . seem a little odd.” He said staring at the wall of chips. 

She laughed. “Yeah, just stick with the classics.” She grabbed several chip bags from the shelf and through them into a basket. She threw in several small bags of candy on top and a jar of nutella. “This should be a good start to your junk food education.”

Chat Noir grinned. “I will follow your lead, my lady.” He put the sodas into the basket. 

They went over to the cashier, who was still gaping at them. “Hi,” Ladybug put the basket on the counter. “We want to buy this.”

He seemed to realized what was going on and shook himself out of his daze. “Of course.” He said in lightly accented French. “Will that be everything?” He asked while scanning the items. 

Ladybug nodded and Chat reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He slipped his credit card out and started to hand it to the cashier before Ladybug grabbed his hand. 

“Really, _minou_?” She asked. “You are really just going to give someone a card with your real name on it?” She turned to the cashier. “No offence, Monsieur.”

“None taken, mademoiselle.” The cashier said, automatically. “We do not take credit cards, anyways.”

Chat Noir looked sheepish as he handed the man the cash. 

As he was counting out the change he spoke. “My daughter is a big fan. I am too, of course, but my daughter really loves you two. It would mean a lot to her if I could get a picture.”

Ladybug laughed. “Of course.”

Several minutes later, after posing for a picture and collecting their food, the two heros sat on a nearby rooftop.

“This is terrible. So sour and fake tasting.” Chat Noir exclaimed, laughing. He took another gummy worm. “Why can’t I stop eating them?”

“It’s one of life’s mysteries.” Ladybug looked at the pile of ‘food’ spilled out between them. She grabbed the jar of Nutella. “You need this next.”

Chat raised his eyebrow. “My lady, I’ve had things with Nutella before.”

“Ah, yes.” She tried to convey an air of a teacher about to share important knowledge. “But I’m guessing you have never eaten it straight from the jar.” She held up two plastic spoons she had remembered to grab as they left the store. 

He grinned. “That sounds ridiculous and slightly disgusting. I love it.”

She would always remember the way his eyes lit up with that first spoonful of Nutella. It was adorable. They finished the jar far too quickly.

“I think my stomach is going to rebel if I eat anymore.” Chat said, groaning. 

Ladybug laughed. “No junkfood binge would be complete without a horrible stomach ache.” She flicked his nose. “It’s part of the experience.”

He stuck out his tongue and then smiled. “I love having experiences with you.”

The sincerity in his voice made her blush. “I like it a lot too, Chat.” 

He leaned over to her and her breathing quickened. His eyes were tender with affection and she was terrified he was going to try to kiss her. Before she could go through all the reasons she didn’t want that to happen, he rubbed his thumb against the tip of her nose. He grinned as he held his thumb up to her. There was a chocolate smear on it.

“How did you get Nutella on your nose?” He laughed. 

The moment was gone and she breathed a sigh of relief. “It gets everywhere. It isn’t my fault.”

“Slob.”

She threw a candy bar at him. “Here, eat this. Maybe you will eat yourself into a candy coma and I won’t have to deal with you anymore.” She laughed as he tossed a bag of chips back at her. 

They laughed together in the cool night air.

**Author's Note:**

> I was kind of Chat Noir in this situation back in early high school, but for different reasons. My mom was kind of a hippy who would only let us eat organic, non-processed food. My friends discovered I had never eaten a lot of classic snack food and would force me to try it. Now, around 10 years later, I eat way too much junk food.


End file.
